An expert badge does not protect you from being a human.
The Raw Truth
Just last week, my husband didn't text me for a few hours and his phone went straight to voicemail. Now logically, I knew where he was, what he was doing, and that we don't typically text throughout the day. Instead of my logic though, my therapist brain immediately chose violence and skipped to a catastrophic, worst-case scenario. I paced the floor, shed actual tears, and genuinely debated waking up my sleeping toddler up from a nap in total panic to jump in the vehicle and go find him.. only for him to walk through the door completely. unscathed because his phone had just died.
Whenever I say our brains are "dramatic little creatures," this is exactly what I mean: Evolutionarily, your brain's primary job isn't to keep you happy; it is to keep you alive, which means it behaves like an over-protective, highly dramatic watchdog that prefers a wild, terrifying story over a boring, peaceful reality.
The truth is, most therapists are just as stressed out as you are. Behind closed doors, we have a fiercely dark sense of humor to cope with heavy things we hold, and we numb our brains with unhelpful distractions like doomscrolling or reality TV just to survive the day. We are not perfectly optimized gurus sitting on a mountain of peace; we are real people in the trenches of life with you.
Behind The Couch
The hype: You can only trust a mental health professional if they have a flawlessly curated, conflict-free life.
The science: True empathy and clinical wisdom don't just come from a textbook; they come from a professional who knows the exact neural pathway of panic because they've walked it themselves.
The Validation: If us people with the advanced degrees still get trapped on the ruminating treadmill, you can officially stop shaming yourself for having a normal human brain.
First-Aid Kit
The next time your brain tries to convince you that you are failing because you feel anxious, I want you to use a tool I had to use on my own kitchen floor last week: The Reality Check. Pull out your phone (we all know it's within arms reach if not already in your hand), open a up a blank note, and list exactly three cold, undeniable facts about the current situation to ground your nervous system before the story takes over.
Hit reply to this email and tell me: What is a "worst-case scenario" your brain tried to write for you this week? Let's laugh at our dramatic minds together.
Coming Soon
Next Tuesday, we are tackling the high-achiever trap: why you feel deep, crushing guilt for doing absolutely nothing on the weekends. I am also putting the finishing touches on a brand-new boundaries toolkit for the freebies you have that I can't wait to share!
Healing Horizons ᨒ
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